Very shortly, in my life, I will have a milestone birthday. I paused to consider how I got here today. Oh, not the hard work, perseverance, trust that everything would work out. I mean the BLIND DATES. Many, many of my friends met their future spouse in college. I did not. I got married at the age of 34. (In my current circles, that is 10 years and 4 children too late). However, I do think there is a lid for every pot, so to speak. I went through A LOT of lids. Really. I am incredibly grateful that I have found my lid.
I had tons of blind dates. Gosh, I hated dating. Hated. It. Which could be why I was single for so long, but I digress. I always felt like it was either a wife interview or an “expected payout” at the end of the night. It wasn’t fun. I wasn’t into the bar scene, at all. My friends said I had a “Talk to me, I dare you.” face on. Some of you who know me well are familiar with that face. Ironically, I met my husband on a blind date. The only good one I ever had.
By my early thirties, I had joined a dating service. Don’t judge. Their marketing was very good and this was WAY before internet dating sites. Yes, I’m that old. Let me preface the following by saying that I am not trying to make fun of these men by any stretch of the imagination. In many cases, they were nice guys but not for me. I began to wonder how in the world this dating service would ever in a million, bazillion years, set me up with this person. Oh, I know! I was 31, and he is 33. Made in heaven. UGH.
First, there was the guy who was at least 4 inches shorter than me. I’m only 5’4″ so that is not easy to do. He was very nice and sincere however, he had a rather long mustache that grew over his upper lip into his mouth. Oh, yes, and he continually played with it with his tongue the entire night. It was gross and disturbing. I kept having to remind myself, eyes, look in his eyes. As we walked to my car, he clearly wanted another date. (I am quite the catch!) Fighting my impulse to run, I looked straight in his eyes and said, “No, thank you.” A narrow escape.
Then, there was the guy who seemed very nice on the phone so we agreed to meet for dinner in a restaurant on the top floor of Pentagon City Mall. No problem. I lived very nearby so I was early. I stood outside the restaurant trying to see if I could pick him out of the crowd. I watched a young man walk cautiously from the escalator all the way around the stores towards the restaurant. Oddly, he was hugging the wall and seemed to be sweating profusely. I’m thinking “Please God, do NOT let this be HIM!” Yup, you guessed it. My date. Apparently, he was afraid of heights. Very afraid. It is funny now but at the time I’m thinking “THIS IS WHAT I GET???” He wanted to be the body builder to the stars. His words, not mine. Check, please!
Another lovely gentleman this so called service set me up with drove a Firebird. My apologies to gear heads, I HATE this car. He parked in the loading zone at my apartment building and got towed. Just to get him the heck out of my apartment, I paid the $100 in towing charges. That was cheap! Oh, and he wore a short sleeve plaid shirt with snaps and jean shorts! Buh bye!
There was the guy whose car was so clean you could eat off the floor mats. I remarked that the car must be new. It was 8 years old. Seriously, he LOVED this car. Um, no.
How about the guy, who in the middle of the date, excused himself to return to his car to put on more deodorant, because he wasn’t sure it was working.
- Okay, if you really have to do this, never, ever, tell your date!!
- If you were kidding, you didn’t pull it off.
There are lots of others I could mention…Nascar guy, the wife beater t-shirt guy, etc.
I swear that everything here is true. And it makes me so happy to have found my lid.
We Are The Lovings 
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